Up on the stage was
Andrew Johnson, a casual man of sorts. He seemed an average man, an everyday
man in most ways. So as he stood on the stage that morning unable to compose
his planned speech he decided to let his thoughts roll out. To clear his head
so to speak, in I suppose a kind of stream of consciousness. Bellow is the
actions and thoughts which then flowed.
I feel like I have to tell this. I don’t know what it is
that’s made me feel like this but IL explain it as clear as I can. It was a
dream you see, or nightmare, but they’re the same thing really aren’t they?
Dreams and nightmares? I don’t know anyway back to the story.
It was a dream I had and in it I was standing down a back
alley. I don’t know what took me there but I know I was waiting for a friend
who lived in a flat not far away. Anyway there were a few things happening in
the alleyway. Prostitutes were lined up one end, whereas at the other were drug
dealers.
Honestly you couldn’t make this up. Well, while I was
there this gang member shows up you see. And him, he’s making the rounds you
see. Shaking down the others, making sure him and his boss get there proper
cut. Well anyway he’s pacing back and forth and me I’m just trying to keep
myself to myself. Let him get on with his own business I was thinking, then he
has no reason to but his nose into mine. But the problem is he’s a bit of a
riley type. It doesn’t matter if you put your nose in his business, if there’s
anyone around he’ll always take a pop to put his nose in their’s. So anyway he
starts acting up with this gorilla type with him, he was a right manta. But the
Gorilla, he doesn’t want anything to do with it. He’s like,
“No, leave it out man. He ain’t done nothing bro,” Said
the Gorilla
But he responds back you see, bigger and louder like a
real hard man has to.
“No I ain’t having this! I’m not taking this crap, he’s
got to go!” Says Mr Hard Man.
Anyway he pulls out a gun at this point and you know
what? I was craping my pants. So like anyone with a brain between there head in
this situation I legged it. Bullets kept flying from behind me but I just hid
and knew I had to stay still. A few more bullets fired and footsteps followed.
I was trapped in the alley where I was and knew I had to
move. So as he’s coming round the corner I barged past him full tilt as fast as
I could. So now I am legging it, never run so fast in my life, but still the
hard man catches me.
So now I’m right near the entrance of this alleyway. The
Gorilla has run off probably to get his boss and all I have to do now is run to
escape. But now Mr Hard Man has got a knife and he’s eying me up. I on the
other hand am clutching and crawling, ducking and diving to avoid this blade
heading through my belly. And it was about then that I saw this lighter on the
floor. You know, there was nothing else at hand so I try manoeuvring myself to
reach this lighter on the floor. So, after a bit of a struggle I finally claw
it over with me foot. I pick it up and finally manage to hold his arms down
before burning one of the bastard’s eyes with the lighter.
Now you got to understand that the main aim for me was to
make sure I didn’t get killed by this lunatic. But the lighter didn’t seem to
do much to him cause now he was flailing more, up and down, all around he was
with the knife. So I grab him again and I’m thinking ‘this has to stop him this
time.’ So I swing the light into his other eye.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Again he shouts, but
he still doesn’t go down.
So now I’m fighting for my life, I boot him in the
stomach and keep working on him until I’ve finally beaten him down. Only now I
don’t stop see. You see now I’m so tired with fear and pumped with adrenaline I
keep going until the Gorilla comes back and pulls me down.
Now I’m still going calling off all F’ and blinding but I
soon realise my situation and calm right back down. You see I’m now not only
faced with small fry on the floor over there but I’m now faced with Mr Big and
Gorilla on the right. So after over looking the situation and trying to gather
his where’s about, he asks me my opinion of what happened here now? So you
know, I say,
“It was that nutcase there, that asshole just tried to
fucking kill me!!! Piece of shit, you try anything like that again with me IL
do more than just kill you, mark my words sunshine!!!”
Mr Big after my little outburst there kept looking on
intensely at me. He then looked at Mr Hard Man on the floor who was whimpering
away into what sounded like a small puppy crying. Then back to me.
“Sorry about that old man.” He responded, “And if you’re
willing to wait sir I can most certainly reimburse you?”
Now although that was phrased like a question I can tell
you it was most certainly a command. With men like that, they don’t really take
no for an answer.
In a few minutes three heavies came in and picked up Mr
Hardman and took him away to what one of them described as,
“A proper seeing to.”
So anyway, my mate comes down in this time and I tell him
to wait in the car, so I can leg it if things go wrong. Another ten minutes go
by and the boys come back down with this large suitcase, they hand it to me and
say it’s a present of condolence from their right nice boss as they put it, Mr
Big. So I take it down the alley to one of the dead ends so I can open it all
discrete and that. Anyway I start pealing back the zip and it seems a bit stiff
at first but slowly I get it open and inside the case is something that at the
time almost made me sick.
In the case were three things, the first the knife of Mr
Hard Man now covered in blood. The second was an empty can of petrol whilst the
third was the charred remains of what less than half an hour ago was some
gangster hard man taking shots at me down this very alley way.
I jumped back from the case terrified of what I had just
seen and turned to leg it for my mates car sat just outside the alleys
entrance. I jumped in the car and it soon sped off.
“Now with dreams like this, how can you explain that?”
said Andrew Johnson,
the counties premier high school academies PE teacher. The
assembly audience was in shock and awe with both teachers and students standing
in shock. No one really knew now what to think of
this strange man or his even stranger little story. Although I must say to
those of us who witnessed it first hand certainly never forgot it. Always
making sure to pass it on if the opportunity ever rose to tell it.
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