(The following entry is from my previous university blog and is a direct transfer to my new website for future reference.)
Self Fulfilled 1st
Draft - Link Here
Overall I am quite happy
with my first draft. I think that the protagonist has developed well throughout
the script. The only necessary changes that need to be made here come from a
few off pieces of dialogue that just need tweaking slightly. There are also a
few grammatical errors which need correcting. But really the script has a nice
flow to it. My biggest worry was that there is a heavy use of monologue that
accompanies a lot of the action. However I believe this works quite well and is
a breathe of fresh air as opposed to other scripts which focus much more on
dialogue.
The script also crosses
time and integrates past actions with present reflexive monologue. This would
in turn, causes the audience to view the film in a parallax like experience.
However there are still problems that need to be overcome for the script to be
complete. With certain scenes needing more exposition to explain character
actions.
Self Fulfilled 2nd
Draft. - Link Here
With my second draft of the
script I am beginning to see the narrative forming in a more structured way. Through
the script it is easy for myself as I read it to visualize the locations and
the scenes as they unfold but there is still a problem of over explanatory
dialogue. What needs to be done now is for me to tighten the voice over and
maybe also make the film more central to the character himself. For example
when you read the script it seems too much that the voice over comes in at
points unnecessarily in the middle of scenes of drama. In hindsight, it would
be much more effective if there were breathing spaces between the dialogue and
voice over.
Ways of
thinking - A character breakdown. - Link Here
In order to understand the
mentality of the character of Adam and to get myself more accustomed to his
paranoia and way of thinking, I have designed a spider diagram that I have attached
to the page bellow. The diagram also includes the themes I wish to explore,
examples such as existentialism and the idea of the self-fulfilling prophesy in
their relation to the character of Adam himself.
For example from an
existential point of view Adam is neurotic and tends to internalize his
problems. This is one of the reasons in which in his time of crisis he is
unable to open up to someone else about what he views as the true extent of his
problem. Instead he turns to an external device, an unconscious being in the
form of a video diary. This way he is able to feel the release of externally
confronting his issues without facing the possible judgment or prejudice from others
that he so anxiously fears.
Another point of the mind
of the character I examined was his neurosis and its negative reinforcement on
his behavior. I began questioning the fact that he is prone to reexamine
situations, with the aim being to consider what possible conclusion this behavior
might lead to. I concluded that if he would be over cautious when making decisions,
which he would often opt for the easier option. But if someone like himself
also suffered with the anxieties he suffers from that no matter whether it
was the right or wrong decision he would view it in a negative light. With his
problem when making the right decision being his minimization of such things.
These attributes also put
to mind the kind of person that would question a dream and its content to other
extremities. He would question the origins of this dream, whether they are
internal or external and unlike most people he would reexamine it over an
inordinate length of time.
Apathy of Adam
(Self fulfilled) Draft 3. - Link Here
In the third draft of my
script the structure and layout of the film have had a slight makeover. By this
I mean that I have edited down from my previous drafts of the script and have
removed a few scenes that were either unneeded or felt slightly bloated. An
example of one of the scenes I have removed would be scene one where Lewis and
Adam were discussing approaching middle age and how they assumed there lives
would have turned out from a younger age. This has now been changed to a
montage of set pieces with a 1st person narration to give the understanding of
the characters mindset.
Each of the scenes now seems
to have much more direction to them. Each scene has a purpose and a story of
its own to tell about the character and his emotional developments. We see him
at the height of his problem and we see how he attempts to come through them.
The only things which I believe need changing with the script would be a few
tweaks with the dialogue to tighten it up as much as possible and maybe adding
some more detail to the actions for others to read.
Apathy of Adam
Draft 4 (Final Draft). - Link Here
This is the forth and final
draft for the film "Apathy of Adam". After using draft 3 of the
script I noticed a few irregularities in the dialogue and some of the action
needed to be clarified on. During this time I took some wrote some notes down
and did the same again during the rehearsals before shooting. By doing this I
was able to match dialogue to the actors in a more natural way, which would
allow scenes to flow in a more relaxed way. I also realized during this time
that people were struggling to visualize the final scenes so I have tried to
clarify this so that anyone from a production, cast or location management
wanted to look over the script.
